Working Out New Year's Resolu...No, Delusions!*
*According to this rather obscure author:
1)
I am not going to let Doc breed a mare that is worth
less than his lawnmower. She is going to
have to find her own date.
2)
The next time a horse knocks down a fence, I’m going to
declare it ‘environmental revisionist thinking ’ and leave it that way. I have no idea what that means and nobody
else will either.
3)
I am never going to lose my temper with a yearling
again. (Well, maybe.)
4)
The stallion will learn some manners. I’m sure I can hire somebody mean (or
terminally ill) to deal with that one.
5)
Maybe consider moving my bed a little further from the
window. Just a foot or so.
6)
I will live to see a vet bill under $500.
7)
I’m going to find a cat with some degree of loyalty and
table manners.
8)
I will deal with the manure pile before it decides to
deal with me.
9)
All halter breaking will take place in-utero.
10) I’ll hear a trainer say, “You know, you could
be right.”
11) I am going to check my rubber boots for slugs
before I put them on.
12) I am not going to get my thumb caught in the
manure spreader¼again.
13) I will confess the whole sordid story of farm
finances to Elaine. Actually, I’ll send
her an anonymous telegram from Mexico.
14) I’m never going to try to look smart in front
of a woman again. Boy, that’s an easy
one. Wonder why it’s so far down the
list?
15) And, if it happens to work and she’s willing,
I am going to ask that woman to marry me.
Or go steady, or¼still, I’ll have to quit smoking. And maybe reconsider the advantages of a
college education. Who knows? Might write a book or something.
Well, that about covers it...
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